Not like this is anything especially different from the rest of America, but dang it, I’m exhausted.
Like I said, this is America. Go, go, go… Crash when you have time…. Is not something that is unique to me. I know this. Believe me. I have a sister. She taught me that it is humanly possible to:
1) Not actually sleep for days
2) Get a butt-load done anyway &
3) Choose when your 197% energy depletes in 5seconds and successfully crash for 16 hours.
(And yes, growing up, she had the sickening ability to get up and do the cycle all over again).
It is possible to do this. But I was never given the formula as to how. I attempt to stay awake longer than 38hours while still being productive and I go…. I go… Just… Wacko. (Dear Precious women that are terrified I’ll die of exhaustion: I’m fine. Really)
It’s normal for people to go wacko without sleep. There’s a reason mental hospitals put all their stocks in some kind of sleep-drug. (That’s how tired I am, I can’t even think of the intelligent word for what that is.)
However, like y’all might’ve guessed, my sleep deprivation has this precious little special difference. Although I laugh all the time as it is, I laugh even more when I’m exhausted. Obviously, my cerebral palsy never wants to be left out of the fun.
Before I make my point, please remember.. C.P also means Certified Psycho. So, when I tell you my CP shows up when I’m exhausted- that’s what I mean.
When I’m tired, I laugh like my life depends on it. Not that big of a deal except the muscles in my face that are affected by CP (Certified Psycho) become… Playful. Just the right side of my face lifts almost an entire inch in a permanent smirk, and my right eye permanently squints. The way my face moves actually tickles (I’ve never been able to explain that along side the nerve damage). And I’m so annoyed at that, I can barely stop laughing to try and make my face behave.
So, in essence, when you see me laughing and it’s obvious I’m exhausted, realize I’m not necessarily laughing on purpose.
When I barely breathe out, “it hurts to laugh!” I’m not kidding. Then I hear myself, comprehend what that actually means, understand just how funny it is… And laugh for real. So, what was only supposed to be a polite giggle at a student’s joke ends in a 30minute ab-workout.
The Certified Psycho (CP) strikes again.