This morning I put on a bracelet that has the words Set Free etched on it. I’ve had the bracelet for a year, but I saw it differently this morning. Since returning to Alaska for the summer, I’ve been blessed with a truck load of memories- both good and bad. Today, as I fingered that bracelet, I remembered the days when its message was a lie. I remember the days I wore a different bracelet.
Four and a half years ago, I was in Bondage to a man in my life. I can say that now but at the time, I didn’t dare admit it. He made himself a chain bracelet that I found intriguing. He made me one and gave it to me with the words, “You’re mine.” I romanticized his declaration because I wanted to believe it was okay. Back then, I never made the correlation to the man’s “gift” and his attitude towards me. I wanted to believe that I belonged… But I didn’t.
What was at first a silly game with a metaphorical fire soon became a living death sentence. Remembering my Savior-given Spirit freedom was just that- a distant memory. As the weeks went by, I often toyed with the chain bracelet and attempted to convince myself I was loved. It worked. It didn’t work very long.
When God pulled me out of that relational prison, I kept the bracelet. The bracelet could only come off if I pulled with all my might and broke the chains, but I couldn’t. Breaking those chains meant that I could no longer live in the past. Breaking those chains meant I had to agree with God that moving on from my wounds was painfully beautiful.
It took me right around three months to pull the bracelet off my wrist. I cried tears of sorrow because of the emotional scars that now had to heal. I cried tears of victorious, God-given relief because I was visibly telling God I didn’t want bondage anymore. The chains around my wrist were gone, now it was His turn to release the chains around my heart.
That was four and a half years ago. Today I put on the bracelet that declared my freedom. The bracelet is secured by a slipknot, which makes my heart sing, but also firmly warns me of truth.
I may be free, but the second I want to take my freedom off, I can. The question is, can I trust God enough to let Him be the keeper of my freedom.