It’s a viral clip on Buzzfeed. Blind-folded children find their respective mothers by ‘feeling’ for them. It’s beautiful. It brings back memories of when it didn’t work between myself and my own mother.
During one particular seizure, I was convinced my mother was a total stranger. Being afraid of her, I sunk deep into the arms of a nurse I had never met. My brain was confused. I don’t remember much.
I do remember one thing, though. The nurse hugged me tightly, knowing it was her job to adopt my false reality in order to make the seizure end. The woman hugged me and I calmed down, but I calmed down for a weird reason. My brain registered the nurse’s hug and somehow I knew it wasn’t my mother hugging me.
The realization made my brain find reason and the seizure was over.
Those types of seizures are impossible for me now, but through them, I learned how to find value in the smallest parts of my reality. Nowadays, I don’t do reality checks because of seizures. I do reality checks for what I know of the character of God within the torrents of life.
When my heart hurts, when my friends betray me, when I’m so stressed out I can’t tell the difference between upside down and right side up… I’ve learned to look for the Heart of my King.
Even when I can’t identify the big truths, the little truths lead to the Ultimate Truth Himself. During that season of heartwrenching seizures, I learned to identify Jesus by the “little truths.”
The reality is, though, even when I can’t identify Him, He identifies me. That is enough.