I’m lonely. I need to talk.
I hate hearing those words. They’re the two phrases that, once upon a time, immediately sent importance and purpose shooting up my spine; now, they send dread. Once upon a time, knowing that a guy was “lonely” meant I could fix something. I wasn’t sure what… but dang it, I was gonna fix it.
Age and experience (all 26 year of it <wink>) has taught me not to respond to inquiries from a man who openly declares his loneliness. It’s no one’s fault and he could very well be only lonely; but still, when I hear that declaration, I immediately look for another man to take over.
Here’s the problem: Outside my Christian-Bubble College surroundings, it feels impossible to find another man who is willing to step up to take care of a hurting/lonely brother. I get it. Women are busybodies (we really are) and men are ADD (sometimes).
This is an incredibly vague plea to men who call themselves Believers in Jesus Christ. Step up for the men who are hurting. Though you may be able to turn the concern for a hurting brother off, it’s much harder for the women in your life to do the same. If you don’t take initiative, we will. Don’t make us do that. Let us lean on your ability to support each other.
Multiple times I have found myself being confided in by a man over a situation that was none of my business. I found myself thrust into the confidence of a man over sexual, emotional and mental issues I still struggle with comprehending. Though God gave me the chance to walk away each time, it still bothered me. During my conversations with these men, often times, older gentlemen walked within earshot, gave me an uncomfortable look and walked away.
Men, you do hundreds of things which I admire, cherish and adore. As a sister in Christ, though, I’m asking you to support each other more deeply in order to protect the hearts of the women in your lives. We need you to work us out of the job of supporting men we were never called to support in the first place.