I Can’t Pray For You

I have one real enemy in my life. It’s so deep that those who love me best protect me from the mere memory of this person. We use phrases like, “You know who I mean,” or “You know, past experiences.” Even using a name just feels wrong. There’s fear there for everyone because they know the chaos this person can create without much effort.

But then, there’s silence and there’s Jesus. A trusted friend asked me recently if (why) I still loved this person when there were so many aching scars remaining. It’s not easy. Despite the reality that I no longer perfectly remember a menacing voice or mannerisms, there are still the rare nights I’ll wake up in cold sweats because… Well, you get the picture. I have peace, but I still struggle with saying I love my enemy.

Loving an enemy is a choice. It’s a blood-curdling scary one. But there’s Jesus.

Praying for this person used to be a flippant, “Yeah, whatever, Lord. Just… Do something. Amen.” There was no intercession, there were no heartwrenching requests that the Spirit move mountains to get through to a stone cold heart. Jesus commanded me to pray, so I did. But I didn’t do it well.

I had to come to grips with fear, confusion, and love in regards to the punk of my life because I saw what those loose ends did to the people in my life. Fear became pity. Pity became worry. Worry became a very guarded, thin and frustrated love. Love remains obedience. 

When the Bible commands us to, “love our enemies,” don’t ever think that means joyfully mingling your life with theirs. Don’t ever believe it means putting yourself in danger. Please, with all of my heart, I beg you to never allow those memories influence the rest of your life. 

However, do yourself a favor and remember that loving an enemy is a process. Whatever caused the schism in that relationship is something to be pitied. If you believe that Jesus Christ saved you from your sins, rose again on the third day and is the only way to Heaven, you have more power on your side than your enemy could ever have on theirs. The Bible speaks truth saying, “No weapon formed against us shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17).” 

The reality is, no matter how deep the wounds go, Christ is the answer. He might not feel like the answer, but pray anyway. Watch the bitterness morph into pity and the pity turn into a Spirit-deep desire for your enemy to experience the same love of the Father you have experienced. 

Watch God win. 

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