Too Much Fleece

Gideon of the Bible (Judges 6) was a coward whom God chose to use as a hero. Seriously, the man had no backbone. None. I picture the pre-battle Gideon on the same caliber as a 16-year-old nerd trying to work up enough of his own value to convince himself he’s good enough to strike up a mere “hi” to a cheerleader. Gideon had no heart, no personal understanding of his value… nothin’. Nada. Zilch.

But God wanted him. And Gideon tested God’s voice. Gideon didn’t test it once, (a wee bit of backbone) but twice (the man was an idiot). I read that passage and I often times freak out at my Biblical pencil-necked moron who randomly had the guts to throw out a fleece twice and test God’s will for his immediate future. And then, just as quickly, a smile creeps onto my synical lips.

I’m not only just as bad as Gideon… I make him look like a born-leader and pious saint.

God calls me to step up to a blessing, challenge and title He’s ordained and I do the stupid, “‘Kay, great! I’ll believe you if you…” And God answers.

Three days go by and I turn very female and start wondering if I dreamed up the wet fleece moment, so I reinact the whole thing. “Great, God! I love what you’re up to here. Really, I do. But I just don’t know if I heard you right the first 2 times. So, sorry, Lord, but I’ll believe you if you…” And God answers.

I’ve done so many “For your glory, Lord, prove yourself” prayers in the last 6 months I’m quite certain the next fleece-wetting prayer I throw up will be met with a neon sign from Heaven that says: 

Heavenly Fleece Storehouse Out of Stock    Must Act on Faith Until Further Notice 

(No. God does not work like that.)

Here’s the thing: There came a point where I stopped “throwing out a fleece” to ask for a more intimate look at God’s heart and reality for my life. After the 30th “give me a sign” prayer, I was only praying those “Test God Prayers” to push off the opportunity to trust Him within the orderly chaos of change. 

I enjoyed the fact that I could scream at the heaven’s that the ball was in God’s court, not mine. He needed to  answer my prayer before I took  a leap of faith. If I’m always waiting on God, I don’t have to admit that I have no courage. If I’m always waiting on affirmation, I never have to move away from my comfort zone.

Gideon stepped up to God’s call on his life and saved his people in the most unusual circumstances (Read the story, it’s awesome). But what would have happened if Gideon stayed in his home, crouched in fear and with no courage or ability to trust Yahweh?

At some point, we have to stop asking God to speak and go off of what He has said before. He does, after all, promise us He’ll never change.