“I married him because, well, you know what I look like. No self-respecting American could bear being seen with me. I became a Muslim because that was the only way I could get married to have the children I want.”
“Tracy” had decided that at 21, if she wasn’t married yet, she never would be. Though I don’t know how she gained her information, she went to her last resort before despair overtook her- an online Muslim dating site. It’s actually a thing. The rest of her message told me about the shotgun wedding, the trip to her new husband’s homeland and the positive pregnancy test. As a 23 year old myself, I was overwhelmed with questions Tracy wouldn’t answer and prayers I had no idea my heart could pray.
As I read Tracy’s goodbye message, three thoughts went through my head.
First, I vehemently gained a hatred for instant messaging overnight. I wanted to see my sweet friend’s face to know what was going on inside her head as she arranged here new home. It didn’t make sense.
Secondly, the image of her shadowed face and body she produced as her profile picture was permanently stamped in my mind. She was filled with shame over her body and thought that was all she had to draw men. It’s what she had been taught, and it had consumed her life. I recounted the countless times all I did was hug her instead of call her beautiful… or told her about the Christ that would and did love her at 45 pounds or 900. How could I have never seen her pain? I was 9 when we met, but I grew up with her– Did I have an excuse?
Thirdly, I choked back a scream as I realized every Muslim that made the news and every killing that was attributed to certain Muslims would now hold a deeper meaning because Tracy was now of the assumption it was required and acceptable to teach her future children that Holy War was their goal. She did it out of fear, but every time she defended the way her husband trained their children in the years to come she sounded more and more convincing.
For those of you that call yourselves Christians, as ISIS killings, Islamic Terrorism and “Allah Akbar!” become even more frequent in the background of America, please remember a few things:
Posting your rage on a social media site does nothing. You have to devote your life to being sheltered from the world to not know what’s going on with the different aspects of Islam. Devaluing these who kill Christians for no reason is just as sinful as the act of murder in the first place. Romans 3:23 says that, “All have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.” There is no discussion of what sin is more offensive… nor is there any discussion of the sin that cannot be forgiven. We can’t understand the sin of murder for religious reasons (honestly it makes me sick), but I guarantee you we’re just as confusing to them.
I challenge you to pray for these individuals with just as much passion as you’re willing to convey in the safety of your home.
Secondly, although it’s heartbreaking, confusing and infuriating to see brothers and sisters killed or imprisoned… realize the bondage of the fanatical muslims are in and the prison their hearts and minds are in without even knowing it. Defense of your family is wise, but I challenge you to realize that every Muslim, no matter how supportive of the Jihad they may be, are one of the creations Christ desires to draw to Himself. How you talk about, debate and defame these people conveys much about how deeply you believe your Christ is bigger than the idols and fake gods of any other culture.
Thirdly, understand that the Christians you’re passionate about bringing home and avenging are either captured or have passed away because they stood up for an absolute Truth of Christ they wanted those very muslims to cling to someday. Islam is not a “faceless cult” to me because of Tracy and a few others who have crossed my path in recent years. The faces behind the guns matter, as hard as that is for even myself to remember.
Make sure your heart can handle the fact that Heaven will prayerfully be filled with Muslims who came to Christ despite the fact that they killed the man they’re standing next to worshipping the same Lord you are.